It's always hard, when in the midst of a down time in your life, you realize that part of the reason you're down is nothing more than your own sin. Such has been the case in the past few days. For some reason, I guess I could call it God's grace, I've realized that part of my sadness has been nothing more than my own sin and my own inward focus. My sadness, loss and emptiness are real emotions, and they are emotions that I've really struggled with in light of a lot that has happened over the past few weeks, but I've been challenged and convicted that they are emotions that others in similar situations are also also living with.
A big part of this realization has come on the heels of my friend leaving town. I've realized that although he is leaving us, it is his circumstance that is changing much more drastically than mine. I will truly miss him and will cherish the HOURS we spent together, but he is the one who has moved away. His life is changing much more substantially, and instead of hanging my head in total self pity, I should be reminding him of how much he meant to us and how much we are glad that God has called him to this opportunity - an opportunity that is something he's looking forward to and an opportunity out of which he will certainly be better with.
Yeah, realization of sin is always hard. There's a line in the song I quoted a few days ago - "In the pain, There is healing" and the line has caught my attention as I've listened to the song over and over. I've kind of wondered what it particularly meant - how I was going to find any healing in my pain? Perhaps that's what has just happened.
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