Light Righteousness

OK, a few posts ago, I mentioned my struggle with "light righteousnss", and the lights are up, and here's a view. It's kind of hard to get a good picture of it, but it was fun to get one tonite, as we've encountered our first stretch of winter weather - byt the end of the snow, we'll hopefully have about 8 inches. But, of course, here in St. Louis, it will probably all be gone in a few days. I love it though, and I'll take what I can get.

Pondering these things.....

It's been a full weekend of Christmas activity, and although I'm suffering from "light righteousness" - that's the condition from whence one's righteousness comes from their being able to get their Christmas lights up and get their Christmas lights to work, I've been struck by a couple of things this Christmas that are of more significance...
First, I was struck by the sermon last nite at church. After we had ogled at Katherine's performance with the kids, Jon M. talked about the fact that he's not a very good receiver. Now, with the understanding that he's not talking football, I was really struck and challenged by his thoughts. One of the things that we've been trying to do with the girls is to instill a sense of appreciation for what we have and for what we are receiving this Christmas. It's always a challenge with kids to make the concept of appreciation and thankfulness one that sticks, but after Jon's sermon, I realized that part of the problem is that those who are instructing need a lesson as well.
Jon talked about how hard it is to receive from others - whether it's a gift, help with daily tasks or even a simply compliment. And as he talked, I realized that I am as bad as anyone in this category. I have always felt somewhat awkward at that moment after opening a gift from someone - a combination of trying to show appreciation and realizing that someone is doing something out of the kindness and generosity of their hearts. It's a very difficult thing for me to feel comfortable in such a situation, and it really challenged me to be a better "receiver" myself - even as I teach my children to do the same.
The other thing that struck me the other day was a conversation we had about the Baby Jesus in the manger. On Saturday, we were at a church Christmas party, and the discussion happened to turn to setting up manger scenes. One of the couples mentioned that one year, they were attempting to set up the manger scene, but Jesus was no where to be found. It turned out that one of the children had put the Baby Jesus in Mary's arms, not in the manger. We were thinking about the fact that here was a baby, yes Jesus, but at the same time a baby. We always see Jesus in the manger, but in reality, one would think that this young couple, who had gone through so much in the past 9 months, would not even let the Baby Jesus out of their arms. We realized that perhaps our connection to our faith is quite similar - we look at our faith and admire it. We gaze on it lovingly, and are even thankful for the joy that it brings us. At the same time, we don't pick up our faith and embrace it. Our love for our faith is at arm's reach, not the love of a mother's embrace.
Something to think about as we go through Christmas....

O Come, O Come Lord of Might

I was truly convicted and challenged by our Sunday School lesson at church this past week, and I've found that as my week has continued, I've been reminded of the lesson. We were challenged by one of the Covenant Seminary professors to look beyond the demands of the Christmas season, and to view the mighty power of the Lord that we anticipate. I confess that this has been a real struggle for me this year, as my work schedule has been absolutely swamped, and I've tried to begin celebrating at home. I've found that I'm unmotivated at work, partially because the busy-ness there has prevented me from some of my usual early holiday tasks, and in turn, my inability to do some of those tasks has made me less motivated at work. A nasty circle, to say the least.
I know that Christmas is not about lights, presents and the such, but being the father of three small children, it has brought me some joy to share those things with my kids, and to tie them to the true story of Christmas. Therefore, having not been able to do that has left me feeling like they're missing part of the joy, and then, I'm missing it too.
It's the continuation of the struggle to share the true joy of Christmas, but it's hard to get beyond the real world in doing that.

Charlie Brown

I won't mince words - I LOVE CHRISTMAS! And I confess, that since my kids have been born, I love it all the more. I have constantly struggled though, with the reason for my love of Christmas. Of course, as a Christian, I love what Christmas means - the beginning of the fulfillment of the Gospel. It's a wonderful blessing and what a great thing to be reminded of that blessing each and every year. But, at the same point, I love Christmas in 2007. I confess that I struggle with materialism, and it is very easy to get caught up in all of the materialism at Christmas. In fact, I will readily confess, that on Friday morning, at 3:30 a.m., I was standing in line outside our local Kohl's, ready to get a "move-on" with our family's shopping. I accomplished about 90% of our family's shopping within the next 6 hours, arriving back home about 9:30 a.m. with very sore feet from standing in line at Kohl's, Target, Wal-Mart and Toys R Us. Is there something wrong with me here?
On top of that, one of the most exciting parts of Christmas, especially in the last few years since we've had kids, is to see their excitement when the tree is set up or when the switch is thrown on our outdoor lights. Now.... I'm not completely out of control, but I will confess that the job of lighting the house outside is a stressful one. I get so annoyed when I open up the Rubbermaid of lights that all worked perfectly last January to find 8 of our 12 strings blown out! What happened... and why does it always seem to happen to me?!?! Very frustrating and somewhat stressful (just ask my wife), but in the end, the joy and excitement is a wonderful reward.
An editorial I stumbled onto in the Post-Dispatch really put a good perspective on this -
So, here I stand on the verge of another Christmas. Ready to wish everyone "Merry Christmas", and not every let the phrase "Season's Greetings" pass my lips because of my faith. But at the same time, is my love for the holidays taking me from the Linus position to the Charlie Brown position? Is there a balance? Is it a balance that will be clear to my kids? Let's hope so!!
I'm trying to hold onto that real meaning of Christmas, but also trying to savor the fun and enjoyment our world offers at this time of year. Does that make me a hypocrite? I don't know. Keeping the faith perspective is difficult, but essential.

FOUND!!!

The above would imply I was lost, and although I wasn't "lost", I've been discovered by the exploding blogosphere that is the people that we know. Hence, even though I haven't really posted in almost a year, I've been tagged, and I guess, according to the rules, I need to divulge my deepest, darkest secrets! oh, Mona Lisa - you'll rue the day.....
Anyways, I'll do this, and then perhaps, I'll return to the living blogosphere and begin posting more often.
My 8:
1. I'm adopted. Some people knew, some people didn't. As more people that Julie and I know consider adoption for themselves, it's becoming a more well-known fact.
2. I'm a farm boy. That's right - Johnny B - Asst. DA comes from the farm. I'm a corn and soybeans kind of guy. (isn't it obvious)
3. I too possess hidden musical abilities - piano and clarinet.
4. While some people can wiggle their ears or their eyebrows, or do other stupid human tricks - I have the very important and worthwhile ability to say my alphabet backwards at a fast pace. Apparently, I was "blessed" with this ability at age 2.
5. This one's for the Dillard's - not really interested in Rudy, am considering a second look at Mitt, but really wish FRED would pull through!
6. For those of you who don't know, I met my loving wife on the internet!
7. Give me an 80's song - I'll give you the artist and lyrics - almost guaranteed.
8. Nothing melts my heart more than my girls telling me that they love going on one of our "Daddy-Daughter Dates"!

OK, I know I'm supposed to tag everyone else, but I'm sorry, there's about 6 degrees of blog separation, and pretty much everyone I know has already been tagged. Does it now surprise you that I'm never good at the "fwd:" e-mail thing?!?!

Now that I'm back, I'll try to do better to remain back. My blog will probably be quite different from my wife's. The gets the fun job of showing the "fam", while I ponder deep thoughts and wax extensively like any good lawyer would.

I'm 39 for a moment

It has been 8 months since I've sat down to blog, and my lack of writing has not been because there is nothing going on in life - quite the opposite. My blogging came to a screeching halt right before our third child, Christopher John was born, and for one reason or another - I just never started back up. Perhaps it was because life became too consuming, perhaps it was because I didn't feel the need to continue to share my inmost thoughts, or perhaps sharing my life with anyone around me wasn't a concern anymore. Whatever the reason, a series of events that are about to occur in my life are causing me to reconsider the need to document my life for posterity and for those around me who read this.
The first of those events is the fact that Katherine, our oldest, is headed to Kindergarten tomorrow. There are emotions and feelings going around in my head that are unlike any others that I have experienced. I am experiencing so many emotions about this occasion, that it is really difficult for me to even put my finger on all of them. I am excited, I am nervous for her, I am anxious for her and I am sad. It feels like I have reach another "milestone", and it's a milestone that I don't want to let slip by without doing something so that I can remember, for all time, how I feel as a father.
I think that this is such an emotional experience for me because I have come to love my daughter so deeply.

unknown

I wrote a few weeks ago that every day was a new day, and so far, this year has not failed to live up to that expectation.
Now, as I prepare not only for a new day, but a new child, my thoughts are racing - miles a minute. I am excited, I am terrified, both equally and at the exact same time.