peace on earth

It has been a disillusiong, difficult Advent this year. I have struggled, sometimes more than others, with finding the time and energy to focus on the experience that Christmas as a believer with two small children can be. It has been hard to do that. This has been less than happy month, and knowing that the future holds sadness has also made it very difficult to focus on the here and now. I have wanted so much more out of this Christmas.
I wanted a month filled with seeing Christmas through the eyes of my children, and in all reality, there have been glimpses of that from time to time. Katherine and Elizabeth have had their moments of wonderment, and although few and far between, they have been a thrill. I have also seen some of the true meaning of Christmas through their eyes as well. Katherine certainly is able to recount most of the Christmas story to me, and she is quick to ask questions about Christ's birth and His life, which is a real joy.
Those moments though, have been interspersed in between a lot of moments of frustration with the sinful world that exists. We have mourned the loss of a friend's baby and begun to mourn the loss of my mother - not exactly the expected Advent activities.
This morning, somehow, I was pulled away from all of that for a few moments. Sean Lucas' sermon and Jon Medlock's Sunday School lesson reminded me of the glory of the Lord, the wonder with which the first Christmas was celebrated. They both spoke of the angels' song to the shepards and how the Glory of God was revealed and how the shepards rejoiced, responded and believed. It really reminded me that I am someone who wasn't waiting for an angel to deliver the news to me - I know it already. But, at the smae point, I have not responded in joy and belief. I have rejected the Glory of the Lord for the sadness of the world. Now, don't get me wrong - the world is real, and the situations that we are enduring here are real. I know the sadness that I, and others, have suffered is real, but God's glory and His promise is just as real. Our faith is not just a bunch of doctrine, but it is something that should touch our hearts as much as it touches our minds, and in all honesty, I have not let my faith touch my heart or my mind.
The road ahead is long - there is pain and sadness, for certain. But there is also the road of my faith, a road that gives peace on earth. Hopefully, that road, will be the road that I choose to follow - the road that will lead me to my own Christmas experience.