A venture into thoughts about my faith, my family and how the life I have and the world around is constantly changing but anchored in consistency...
Monday, July 21, 2014
It's Race Week
So, this is race week! Yes, this Saturday, I'll be doing my second triathlon in Springfield, IL. It's hard to believe it's only been 5 weeks since I did my first, and it's somewhat harder to believe that after that, I decided to keep going, but I have. I wish I could put into words exactly what it was like to do the triathlon last month, but it's so hard. There were so many emotions that went through my head as I completed it. I do remember one thing though - I remember as I was doing the 5 mile run at the end - I remember thinking many times "why am I doing this"? and also thinking "there is no way I will do this again"! But, somehow, once I crossed the finish line, regained my ability to breath normally, and ate the largest amount of pancakes and bacon I had eaten at one sitting in many years, I somehow found myself signing up for TWO more triathlons, and also opting for a longer race! Seriously!? I'm sure this was pretty much exactly what Julie was thinking too. But, after a couple days rest, I pushed back in and kept going. This past weekend, I did a dry run, and was excited to really see progress in my work.
The triathlon I did in June was a 500m swim, 22 mile bike ride and 5 mile run. The one I'm doing this weekend, and the one I'm doing in August are both Olympic distance triathlons - a .9 mile swim (1600m), 24.6 mile bike ride and a 10K (6.2 mile) run. Also, I'll be doing an "open water" swim in a lake instead of doing the swim in the pool. Most people think that the "open swim" is tougher, but I've really found that I enjoy it. Perhaps it's my Camp Highlands roots, but swimming in the lake seems much more normal.
Anyways, race week carries a lot of emotions for me. The hardest part though, is "tapering". For those of you who don't know, when you do a longer race like a triathlon or marathon, instead of pushing your training up to the very end, you taper, so that your body has time to rest up for the event itself. It's somewhat frustrating and somewhat against what you would expect. Resting before a big event is hard - your mind feels that you should be training hard. So the taper in and of itself is mentally challenging. You have to put faith in the training you've done, and not try and do the work yourself at the end. A challenging idea, and an idea that really represents my faith as well - understanding you can't do it on your own, and trusting something you really can't tangibly see. It's not a perfect analogy, but the similarity is there.
Added to the "taper" emotions are simply the emotions of doing a triathlon - something that was not on my radar or in my vocabulary less than a year ago, and you get the perfect storm of excitement, nerves and everything else. It will also be fun as I'm going to get to see someone from high school - another friend of mine that I've reconnected with through this stuff. The friendships that have been rekindled, and the new friendships that I've created have been such an encouragement and a source of excitement.
So, here I go - into another adventure. I have no clue how I'll do - I could end up last, but knowing that I'll be able to tackle it and do my best is quite a bit of excitement in it's own way!!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Tell Me How!!
So, the motivation behind me starting up this blog again is that after I posted the pics of my transformation, I received a ton of messages, texts and emails from people. I was BLOWN AWAY at the repsonse that my pictures had, and it really threw me for a loop when many of the emails and messages were ones asking me "How did you do it"? Unless you're a friend of mine that's only gotten to know me in the past year, you know what I used to look like, and you know that not to far in my distant past, I really had no interest in athletics. So how does the fat, band geek turn out to be running a triathlon in his mid-40's?!?!
Unfortunlately, I can't really pinpoint how it started or why it started, but as to the why, it has become something amazing. The how, yea, that's pretty crazy too.
There's not really a clear reason why I started working out. When I weighed 335 pounds on our wedding day, I don't really think I thought a lot about my weight. I knew I was heavy and I knew that I had to always shop at big and tall mens' stores. It bugged me, but I think somehow, I got over it, and I just shopped there. From time to time I would try to watch what I ate (while it was going in my mouth mostly), but I never changed diet habits too much. There were times earlier in my life that I thought that my appearance was preventing me from dating anyone, but I was huge when I met and married Julie, and she loved me just the same. She never brought up the topic or anything, so I felt really, that for the first time, I was completely loved for exactly who I was. Perhaps that was what gave me the comfort to try, because after Katherine was born, I remember looking at pictures of me with her, and realizing how big I really was. So, for the next few years, I did a lot of things, and some of them worked. In 2003, I dropped 80 pounds with Weight Watchers. I began exercising some - mostly running through our neighborhood. But in '04, with two little kids, my exercise and diet got lost in the mix. I bounced around with various "no carb" diets, losing 15-20 pounds, gaining 20-30 pounds, losing 20-30 pounds, etc., but nothing really stuck. It wasn't becoming part of who I was.
This got a little better in 2010. I started doing a "boot camp" at the local rec center, and started actually counting calories. The thing was, even as I counted them, the weight never seemed to shed. I got a little more energized with running in 2011, and started running 5K races. They were fun, and between boot camp and running, I really thought things would change, but they didn't. Then, the bottom fell out.
In late 2011 and early 2012, I started working with a trainer, but at the same time, started having worse and worse back pain issues. I found myself frustrated because just as I would seem to hit my stride, something would trigger some lower back pain and I'd fall off the wagon. I often found myself eating when the frustration of back pain happened.
Then, as is often the case, just when it seems the worst, God used the frustration and anger to point me in the right direction. I was referred to a chiropractor - Dr. Matt Lytle - who in turn, pulled me out of the training I was doing and pointed me in the direction of Emerge Fitness. In June, 2012, when I set foot in Emerge, I had no idea of the path the Lord had put me on.
It may seem weird to say that God put me on this path, but I do believe it's true. I believe that I ended up at Emerge for a reason, and that reason wasn't only to improve my own health, but to open my mind mentally and emotionally, and also my heart spirituatlly. After spending the first 3 months at Emerge focusing on improving my core strength and my glutes, I turned to exercising more seriously, and I found myself looking at a 10K instead of just a 5K. My trainer, Adam, also was a great advocate of good nutrition, and slowly but surely I began to consider that aspect. I began making smoothies for breakfast - fruit, veggies and protein powder. They were good too! Then I began realizing some little habits that might need to go - the constant Coke Zero I drank - the late evening muches of potato chips because I was still hungry. Little things... I decided to challenge myself (and Adam challenged me too), to taking 6 weeks to changing the habits. I committed to cutting back pop, eliminating potato chips, cutting out late night snacking and finally - committing to "clean" eating all but 2-3 meals per week.
Focusing on that, as well as focusing on some serious strength training was the key. All of a sudden, I began to lose weight like never before. I was dropping about 10 pounds per month for about 5 months. Adam challenged me to set some short, mid and long term goals, and all of a sudden, I began to see that I could do that. My first goal was to get down to 247 pounds - the least I had weighed while on Weight Watchers. And that goal came and went. Then, I decided to set the year end goal of 225 pounds, and I did that too. I began to set other goals - learning how to do a pull-up, committing to another 10K and signing up for an obstacle run. The pull-up goal eluded me for months. Every week I would work on them at the gym, and although I'd hoped to have them down by December, 2013, it wasn't until April, 2014 that I did my first pull-up. Then I did more, and more, and more. It was so exciting to see the goals getting accomplished. I found myself dreaming bigger and bigger - and felt that along with the pounds, a fog had litterally lifted from my mind. I felt more comfortable in sitautions, more confident in speaking with others openly about my faith, and more confident in my work as well. It was amazing!!
So, the transformation has been much more than physical, but I want to stop here. I feel like I've rambled, but I think it's important to have the background in place as I move forward.
The end ideal of this sitaution is that things can happen - amazing things - if you simply decide to make the changes that those goals require. God gives us wisdom and God gives us the ability to make some choices (not intending to start a religious debate with that), and I think we need to make sure that we grab hold of those abilities and opportunities. They can be blessings beyond all measure - and they can be encouragements and inspirations to so many around us - Grab Hold!! Go Forward!!
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Thoughts on the road home
Although I had intended to start this blog with a bit of recap, I've been thinking on the drive home (while riding, not driving), and I've felt that I share perhaps a bit of my discoveries. This is the first vacation I've taken since I've been really focused on exercise & nutrition, and let me say - it was HARD! My initial reaction to things was to stick hard to routine & diet. I felt that with me being only a couple weeks from my next triathlon, I had to focus on working out and eating well. After all, I would have as much control over what I ate and I would have more time to workout. Well, guess what - I failed. Failure, of course, is a relative term, but as I ate with my kids and went out for seafood, I realized that it wasn't that easy. More importantly, I learned it was OK.
I am slowly learning that just as I am a sinful, selfish person who messes something up every day, I am a creature of habit, and outside my habits and norms, life is hard, and I mess up. The good thing about messing up on your diet is that I think I've finally learned that one day or two does not destroy the base you've built, and that when you mess up on vacation - it's ok. You chalk it up and move forward.
Now that we're getting close to home, my routine will return and I will be able to look back and say I enjoyed my vacation - not that I was so miserable focusing on diet that I forgot to savor the flavors of life that were in front of me for a few days.
Tomorrow morning, my world of protein shakes and cycle rides will return - the next week will be big time getting ready for my next race. I think the time away from it all will motivate me even more. It's all about life - seizing what blessings are in front of you and living life out the way God intends - a way that honors Him and causes us to be even more thankful and driven.
Friday, July 11, 2014
It's Alive!!
After a long, long dormant period, the blog is alive. It's alive again with new purpose and meaning, and hopefully, new encouragement and inspiration. About a week ago, I posted a series of pictures on my Facebook page that got a response that blew me away. I never expected the feedback in the form of "likes", comments, e-mails, private messages and so forth that followed. So many of my friends commented especially that my journey and transformation was inspiring to them, and that caught me off guard. It never was intended to be that, it was simply a chance that I finally decided I needed to take the step forward to put out into the interweb the reality of the last year of my life.
In response to this, I felt the tug on my heart to share more - not to toot my own horn, but to share a little bit more in depth of where my life has come from, and where it's gone in the past year. Also to share a little bit of what this has all done to influence other aspects of my life - my family, my thoughts, my faith and so on.
So to start, I'll give just an overview of how I've gotten to where I'm at. I hope that through all of this, I can encourage others to do the same with their lives. I"m always glad to give feedback, but please know - I DO NOT KNOW IT ALL, and I hope that I never come across that I do. This is my journey - it looks different from everyone else's journey, but the common factor is that to move forward in any area of life, you have to find something deep inside you that pushes you further than you've gone before. You have to find a drive and an excitement that you may have thought did not exist. It's there - it may be hard to find - but it is. I never thought I had it, but I did. And so can anyone else.
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